I was a member of a Christian cult: Introduction.

Let’s start with a story. I like stories.

A teenage girl with low self-esteem and who is constantly bullied in school is invited to youth group full of friendly and accepting people her own age, ran by adults who actually listen to her. She dismisses her family’s opinion that this might not be healthy and her life soon becomes completely wrapped up with this group. After all, these people love her. They care about her. They are also religious zealots. She converts to their religion.

She accepts the leadership of this group, believing them when they say they are doing God’s will and know better than she does since she is still a “baby Christian.” She eventually starts asking questions.  She disagrees with the pastor. She is told she is not in God’s will. She is put down constantly, told that her questions are wrong, that she has a “spirit of rebellion,” and that she needs to seek God more, under these pastors, in order to get rid of it. She believes them. They love her. Why would they lie to her?

She’s conflicted. Everything inside of her is screaming that this is wrong. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. She feels like shit. She doesn’t know what to do. Her entire life is wrapped up in this church. Leaving it would be leaving everything she has known for her entire young adult life.

Seven years later, she leaves, finally and officially, after receiving a number of mean, dark messages from the head pastor after she dared to sit in the back of the church when she was visiting on a college break.

Sounds kind of like Sean in that episode of Boy Meets World, right? (Actually, I’ve been watching this clip over again since I started writing this and I’m really creeped out by how much of my youth group I see in the group on BMW.  They’re totally lacking the human videos, though. And I could have really used a Mr. Turner in my life.)

I was a member of a Christian cult from the time I was 17 until I was 24. I need to get this all out of me before I explode. I talk about it a lot on Facebook and with my friends, but I’ve never really sat down and laid out exactly what happened. This blog has been sitting here with nothing on it for awhile. No better place, right?

Part one soon.